do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
