Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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