I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
