At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
