Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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