i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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