Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
