Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize