Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
