she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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