she looked like the bat from fern gully.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
