OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
