I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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