This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
