you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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