Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
