one two three fourrrrnication!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
