Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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