walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
