Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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