think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
