she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
