the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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