I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
