I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
