there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
