We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
