You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
