I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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