Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
