Pappa wants mamma naked
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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