$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
honey bunches of taint.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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