OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
