I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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