I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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