is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
