People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
