He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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