I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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