His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
