Just cropdusted the office
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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