I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
