We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
