some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
two words...techno handjob
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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