i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Randomize
