Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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