the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
