dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
