I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
