Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
