I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
COCAINE IS GR8
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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