So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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