Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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