Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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