Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
