Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
