I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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