I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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