i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
