Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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