I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
