I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
