i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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