can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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