i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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