I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
PS: I just woke up from my shower
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
