cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
