Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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